1. Pull your head out of your butt
2. Curse the moon
3. Lie very still and breathe
4. Cry a little bit
5. Eat fruits
6. Toot
7. Loot the bodies
8. Singe your hair on a hottie
9. Binge your emotions
10. Become thorny
11. Tape someone’s mouth shut
12. Stop raking leaves
13. Leave grevious wounds upon an institution
15. Dig a very big hole
16. Plant beets for the winter
17. Write your lover a letter
18. Don’t do your homework
19. Distract yourself with something insignificant
20. Signify a pinecone
21. Become of age
22. Rage
23. Make the layout editor hate you
about the author
Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.