Horoscope: The Signs as Fall-osophers

Capricorn

Calculating your way out of the corn maze with René Descartes

Aquarius

“Deconstructing Campfire Stories” midday lecture by Jacques Derrida

Pisces

Go see the Clinton Street Cabaret’s performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show with Judith Butler

Aries

“In the process of picking your Halloween costume, see to it that you do not become the costume!” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Taurus

Trick or treating with Socrates

Gemini

“Boo! Binaries are Bad” midnight lecture by Michel Foucault

Cancer

Nightmare on Sigmund Freud St. Movie Marathon

Leo

Haunted houses with Immanuel Kant

Virgo

Politics and pumpkin carving with Hannah Arendt

Libra

Apple picking with your friend Aristotle

Scorpio

“Pumpkin spice lattes for sale at market price!” — Adam Smith

Sagittarius

Karl Marx’s collective of red fall leaves