Overheard at Reed

"This chair is naked."

As opposed to?

"If you sleep on your back, you need at least three pillows."

"What kind of bourgeois decadence is this?"

New Treatlerites just dropped.

"I am not accepting guilt as a reason to complete tasks at this time."

"Banana radioactive. Slightly. It just does that."

"Got one-word responses to sexts."

Give him a minute, he just has to sound it out.. goar… g.. gorejuss… gorge….

“And so he could only practice therapy inside his own family, of course, since he’d been disbarred" - Walking to the library

Tobias Fünke would like to have a word.

"Because...I'm a lesbian? Because...graphic design is my passion?"

"If I were married to her, I'd be collecting some life insurance by now, if you know what I'm saying."

I can’t say that I do.

"I like balls, they're good."

"Let's see what cannabis has."

"Fuck my stupid gay life, I love peeing in public."

FYI: that’s a fast-track to sex offender status.

"The Dalai Lama did fuck."

I’m going to want a Reuters Fact Check on that one.

"How's your partner?"

"Like in lab or?"

"No like..."

"Oh. Still unemployed."

"Wait, is he gay at work and straight at home?"

"Like lowkey."

Tobias Fünke would like to have another word.

(In reference to Jesus of Nazareth) "It's just the ultimate little scrungly guy energy."

Please don’t say that about our Lord and Savior.

“I can’t be with you C****, you have a boyfriend.” 

“I’m using my free will to write porn and drink.”

"Why are you posting thirst traps on CLBR's LinkedIn?"

Hinge stopped working, huh?

“In some universe [NAME]’s balls were crushed and it changed the nature of your relationship.”

"The tongue dorsum is harder to maneuver, so it will probably be messier and have multiple bursts."

That’s enough Overheard for today.