291 Students Dead in Brawl Ball

At midnight on Saturday, March 29, hundreds of students gathered on the Great Lawn to wrestle or watch others wrestle for Brawl Ball. This was done in direct violation of an email from the Office of Student Life, which specifically instructed students not to attend the ball. CSOs were powerless to stop the carnage as students tussled on the grass, drank Pabst Blue Ribbon, and generally made a ruckus. The unbridled chaos continued until around 12:45am, at which point the Portland Police Bureau arrived to break things up, deploying tear gas in the process. An anonymous student summed up the general sentiment, saying, "This sucks. Being tear gassed sucks."

Students who were tear gassed went off to flush their eyes out with water, while those who managed to evade the tear gas dispersed to smoke weed or shower off the mud. Luckily, there appeared to be no serious injuries—a miraculous outcome considering that the PPB was present. Despite this, official numbers provided by administration put the death count at 291. The Quest reached out to Director of Community Safety Gary Granger for clarity on these numbers, who directed us to Dean of Students Chris Toutain. Toutain directed us to Vice President for Student Life Karnell McConnell-Black, who directed us to President Audrey Bilger. Bilger then directed us back to Granger, who simply reiterated that 291 was the official number.

When asked for his opinion on Brawl Ball, Granger said that, overall, he disapproved, but added, "On a certain level I have to respect a good tussle." Toutain expressed shock that students would ignore instructions from an official Student Life email. McConnell-Black emphasized that the behavior at the Brawl Ball was "unbecoming of Reedies." Bilger expressed concern that it would negatively affect enrollment, adding, "Thank God it wasn't in front of a tour at least."