Overheard at Reed 2/07/25

"Be the first person to meow in your class."

#Trendsetter

“You don’t look like an LA bitch, you look like you’re from Alaska or some shit.”

“I filled the TV with tannerite and blew up the TV.”

We all have hobbies.

“I’m allowed to be racist as a treat, I’m from Tennessee.”

The Quest would like to clarify that this is definitely untrue.

“You can tell she’s not having sex because of her Spotify account. That’s a celibate Spotify.”

Thou shalt not Spoti-stalk me more than twice a week.

“She was talking about her Jewish man fetish.”

"I love dehumanizing women. It's like my fifth favorite hobby."

At least it’s not first, I guess.

“Imagine if you had entrance music going into any room but it’s always Believer by Imagine Dragons.” - Commons

It’s Weezy the dragon.

"I offered to go vegan for a girl on Tinder but she turned out to be an AI."

Modernity continues to fail real lovers.

"The thing about human-subject research is they're not gonna die. If they do, it's probably not me."

“On balance, there are more beavers than holocaust.” -Commons

Statistically true.

"“He’s a helicopter pilot.”

“How old is he?”

“I don’t care!”"

"“I didn’t get any work done on Sunday, I drank a bottle of soju and passed out.”

“As is your God-given right!”"

Me and my twinnem! 

“Softcore porn in the hamburger line." - Commons

Match my freak.

“I did cocaine with my girlfriend’s father, which is weird.”

Talk about bonding…

“According to Genesis, God can’t see through bushes, so you can have sex there. God can see through whales, so don’t try to have premarital sex in a whale. God also can’t see past Spain according to the story of Jonah and the whale. You can have sex past Spain.”

Taking notes.

"I've been besquirged!"