Overheard at Reed 2/14/25

"Wow! That is a blond twink. Wow!"

"Scientology broke my laptop."

Their personality tests are hard on the RAM.

"Fascism used to be cool, in that they hated art."

That’s because Hitler couldn’t get into art school.

"It sounds like a peaceful way to go, to be on ketamine."

"He drowned."

"I'm going to a scrapyard later today. Does anyone want anything?"

Five car engines please.

“Everyone knows a big penis when they see one!”

It’s all relative.

"I don't want to have the orgy in my room because I need to sleep in my bed."

Always good to think ahead.

“What if your clone appeared and it looked like Sonic the Hedgehog, and you couldn’t see your reflection, so you gradually became convinced that you looked like Sonic the Hedgehog” - Commons

"I could do biopower or I could do insurance."

“No, I don’t want to be her valentine even though she’s evil, I want to be her valentine because she’s evil.” 

I’ll drink to that.

"I don't wanna fuck trains! I don't wanna fuck trains!"

That’s just straight-up not what metrosexual means.