Overheard at Reed: 12/06/24

“I respect women which means I’m not sexually attracted to them!”

Is that how it works?

"Why did they do a collab with the Grinch?"

Just like my nuts…

“No insecurities by Tuesday!”

Probability ranges from unlikely to impossible.

"The person-animacy hierarchy rears its ugly head again."

"Heartstopper is the only thing keeping me going right now"

"No candy! So sad! Only pronouns" - At the reference desk

This school is a prison.

“I forgot you live in bumfuck, but dude… Five Guys hot dogs.” - Bouncy Bridge 

“Your therapist smokes cigarettes? She knows what's up.”

Yeah, lung cancer rates.

“No capri-suns? No us!” *leaves*

"This is... woke Hebrew you're talking about."

I’d like to hear the unwoke Hebrew.

"You're the only person that would understand this. Dialectics is like toxic cannibal yuri." - Back stairs of Vollum

I don’t know if that’s true…

“She likes to be friends with these gay men who are also rich because they can go to Broadway shows.”

Valid strat.

“I don't know the functional groups— I never knew the functional groups!”