The Signs as Presidential Losers
By Henry Kendrick
If only they had gotten their supporters to Pokémon-Go to the polls.
ARIES
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Thomas Dewey
Republican, lost to Franklin Roosevelt in 1944, Harry Truman in 1948.
TAURUS
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Alton Parker
Democrat, lost to Theodore Roosevelt in 1904.
GEMINI
Photographic portrait of Robert M. La Follette
Robert La Follette
Progressive, lost to Calvin Coolidge in 1924.
CANCER
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Ross Perot
Independent, later Reform, lost to Bill Clinton in 1992 & 1996.
LEO
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Bob Dole
Republican, lost to Bill Clinton in 1996.
VIRGO
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Alf Landon
Republican, lost to Franklin Roosevelt in 1936.
LIBRA
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Lewis Cass
Democrat, lost to Zachary Taylor in 1848.
SCORPIO
Debs in a suit
Eugene Debs
Socialist, lost five times, largest popular vote share was 6% against Woodrow Wilson in 1912.
SAGITTARIUS
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John Kerry
Democrat, lost to George W. Bush in 2004.
CAPRICORN
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Barry Goldwater
Republican, lost to Lyndon Johnson in 1964.
AQUARIUS
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Adlai Stevenson
Democrat, lost to Dwight Eisenhower in 1952 & 1956.
PISCES
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William Jennings Bryan
Democrat, lost to William McKinley in 1896 & 1900, William Howard Taft in 1908.