The Signs as Presidential Losers
By Henry Kendrick
If only they had gotten their supporters to Pokémon-Go to the polls.
ARIES
Thomas Dewey
Republican, lost to Franklin Roosevelt in 1944, Harry Truman in 1948.
TAURUS
Alton Parker
Democrat, lost to Theodore Roosevelt in 1904.
GEMINI
Robert La Follette
Progressive, lost to Calvin Coolidge in 1924.
CANCER
Ross Perot
Independent, later Reform, lost to Bill Clinton in 1992 & 1996.
LEO
Bob Dole
Republican, lost to Bill Clinton in 1996.
VIRGO
Alf Landon
Republican, lost to Franklin Roosevelt in 1936.
LIBRA
Lewis Cass
Democrat, lost to Zachary Taylor in 1848.
SCORPIO
Eugene Debs
Socialist, lost five times, largest popular vote share was 6% against Woodrow Wilson in 1912.
SAGITTARIUS
John Kerry
Democrat, lost to George W. Bush in 2004.
CAPRICORN
Barry Goldwater
Republican, lost to Lyndon Johnson in 1964.
AQUARIUS
Adlai Stevenson
Democrat, lost to Dwight Eisenhower in 1952 & 1956.
PISCES
William Jennings Bryan
Democrat, lost to William McKinley in 1896 & 1900, William Howard Taft in 1908.