The Signs as Presidential Losers

By Henry Kendrick

If only they had gotten their supporters to Pokémon-Go to the polls.

ARIES

Thomas Dewey

Republican, lost to Franklin Roosevelt in 1944, Harry Truman in 1948.

TAURUS

Alton Parker

Democrat, lost to Theodore Roosevelt in 1904.

GEMINI

Robert La Follette

Progressive, lost to Calvin Coolidge in 1924.

CANCER

Ross Perot

Independent, later Reform, lost to Bill Clinton in 1992 & 1996.

LEO

Bob Dole

Republican, lost to Bill Clinton in 1996.

VIRGO

Alf Landon

Republican, lost to Franklin Roosevelt in 1936.

LIBRA

Lewis Cass

Democrat, lost to Zachary Taylor in 1848.

SCORPIO

Eugene Debs

Socialist, lost five times, largest popular vote share was 6% against Woodrow Wilson in 1912.

SAGITTARIUS

John Kerry

Democrat, lost to George W. Bush in 2004.

CAPRICORN

Barry Goldwater

Republican, lost to Lyndon Johnson in 1964.

AQUARIUS

Adlai Stevenson

Democrat, lost to Dwight Eisenhower in 1952 & 1956.

PISCES

William Jennings Bryan

Democrat, lost to William McKinley in 1896 & 1900, William Howard Taft in 1908.