Horoscope: The Signs as Star Wars Characters I am Embarrassed to Admit that I can Recognize and Name On Sight

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Feemor

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Durge

Gemini (May 21 - June 21): Jaster Mereel

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): R5-D4 aka “Skippy the Jedi Droid”

Leo (July 23 - August 22): Salacious B. Crumb

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Yaddle

Libra (September 23 - October 23): Sio Bibble

Scorpio (October 24 - November 21): Coleman Kcaj

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): The Yuuzhan Vong

Capricorn (December - January 19): Oola

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Ferus Olin

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): CC-6454 “Ponds”

Editor's Note: Sage has only seen part of the sequel trilogy and has no idea who any of these people are.