Quest.

Mud Bentley

Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.


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    I have been appalled by the way The Quest has covered (and not covered) recent events. The latest piece on protests on campus was needling […]

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    Canyon Day 2023 was a smashing success despite the thunder and waves of quarter-inch hail crashing the party last Saturday. In Reed’s second Canyon Day […]

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    It has been just over a year since Rachel Willis was hired as the first and only person working in the Sustainability Office. While sustainability […]

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    The Grounds Crew, also known as the Canyon Crew, have partnered with Teamsters Local 305, a Portland Labor Union, to form Reed’s first Grounds Union. […]

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    1. Rob a grave2. Kiss a ghost3. Scream4. Squish5. Squeal6. Reveal your innards7. Eat gizzards8. Fizz a lizard9. Spook a wizard10. Transform back into a […]

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    1. Scream!2. Lick the ground3. Found a church4. Pray for forgiveness5. Stray from God6. Return, renewed7. Poo8. Eat goo9. Flush a secret10. Gush your feelings11. […]

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    1. Read a weird poem (This counts!)2. Understand it fully and completely.3. Memorize it.4. Give it high praise to your friends.5. Celebrate it for years […]

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    1. Sleep2. Eat3.Exercise4. Think5. Take care of yourself6. Be kind7. Mind8. Care9. Beware the mean bone in your body10. Stop and breathe11. Count to ten12. […]

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       Rachel Willis, Reed’s first Sustainability Coordinator, is swinging into her first fall semester on campus with a diverse team of student sustainability interns working on […]

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    1. Lie2. Cheat3. Steal4. Become morally hazardous5. Step out of your ethical comfort zone6. Walk dubiously7. Eat something suspicious8. Write a constitution9. Ratify it10. Violate […]

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    For some truly risk-loving individuals, the scrounge never left. The Commandments may have been stripped from the Commons wall, the table covered in half-eaten sandwiches […]

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    1. Pull your head out of your butt2. Curse the moon3. Lie very still and breathe4. Cry a little bit5. Eat fruits6. Toot7. Loot the […]

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    Eat the following:1. Breakfast2. A cough drop3. Hot cakes4. Somlething else baked5. A rake6. Half a baby7. My hat8. Lunch9. Three leaves10. Most of a […]

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    Last week as I was locking my bike, I nearly ran over the body of a dead bird. It was about five inches long from […]

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    On the sunny morning of Saturday, April 2, students, faculty, staff, alumni, and Reed neighbors gathered at the West end of the Canyon for the […]

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    Smoke blue lotusBecome grotesqueAssume riskSpeak with a lispTouch the tipSmush fruit (ripe)Distinguish between typeStriveDrive me downtownBe a clownBrown in the sunPat your bunsListen, hunShoot a […]

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    Around half a millennium ago, a French man from the town of Cahors en Quercy named Clement Marot wrote a poem to a young girl […]

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    1. Eat an orange in the shower2. Glower at a frog3. Growl at gravel4. Empty your bowels5. Hog6. Use your noggin7. Slide a toboggan8. Stick […]

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    Last week’s Senate Public was dominated by a vibrant discussion about student relations with the administration, sparked by a pointed question by Jennifer Hickman, an […]

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    The term “externality” refers to any effect, positive or negative, on an uninvolved third party because of the actions of a different party. Externalities create […]

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    1. Wash your hands2. Seize land3. Occupy your body4. Swap homes with somebody5. Grow older6. Drink in class7. Die8. Cry9. Lie10. Fry me a fucking […]

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    Following the trends of similar schools in recent years, Reed College has created a new staff position: the Sustainability Coordinator. Rachel Willis, new to Reed, […]

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    1. Manipulate your genome2. Lick my foot3. Recycle your nutrients4. Stop what you’re doing5. Look around you6. Re-wild your mind7. Decolonize your shoe rack8. Bi-sexualize […]

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    Imagine a post-carbon Reed College. What has changed? Our generation and the generations to follow will experience the devastating impacts of climate change, and will […]

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    Scrounging is a tradition dating back to the 1960’s where students would cluster at the back of Commons and feast on the leftovers that students […]

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    Shave your head.Eat one of the cherry blossoms.Satisfy three cravings. Call your parents.Lick a battery. Admire a tree (sexually).Draw a bee on your knee. Look at it. […]

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    Be gay.Shut the fuck up.Ask a Quest editor out on a date.Live for Jazz.Write a rap with just the words in these quests.Draw on your […]

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    Eat a book.Be mean to a Quest editor.Make art out of sticks and leaves.Call yourself a sexy motherfucker in the mirror.Summon a demon.Shotgun a Yerba […]

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    Classics Department Changes Name to Greek, Latin, and Ancient Mediterranean Studies “Classics is, especially in recent years, impenetrable: not only does it not describe the […]

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    True to our name, please enjoy some quests to attempt this week… Graphic by Katherine Draves Honk at a goose.Give Pancho Savery a pinecone.Chase your […]

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