1. Wash your hands
2. Seize land
3. Occupy your body
4. Swap homes with somebody
5. Grow older
6. Drink in class
7. Die
8. Cry
9. Lie
10. Fry me a fucking fish
11. Feather your feet
12. Laugh with pain
13. Grow grain
14. Stain your skin blue
15. Check the hue of the sky against a color wheel
16. Let me know what color it was
17. Tell the truth
18. Drink milk straight from the udder
19. Chew your cud
20. Slap mud
21. Do it harder
22. Admit to a fart publically
23. Get smarter
About the Author

Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.