1. Manipulate your genome
2. Lick my foot
3. Recycle your nutrients
4. Stop what you’re doing
5. Look around you
6. Re-wild your mind
7. Decolonize your shoe rack
8. Bi-sexualize your pornography
9. Fellate
10. Listen carefully, young one
11. Pay attention in class, dammit
12. Daydream about your crush
13. Mush
14. Breathe, and push!
15. Admire how lush you look in the mirror
16. Send a real, physical letter to someone
17. Learn to purr
18. Grow fur
19. Murmur sweet nothings to nobody
20. Be my friend
22. Beat cancer
23. Never look back
About the Author

Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.