Shave your head.
Eat one of the cherry blossoms.
Satisfy three cravings.
Call your parents.
Lick a battery.
Admire a tree (sexually).
Draw a bee on your knee. Look at it. It’s the knee’s bee!
Write a sonnet using the words from these quests.
Magic!
Put up a poster of something you love.
Write a gooey letter to a representative (you choose what it’s gooey with).
Disrupt lawns. Reclaim biodiversity! Down with monoculture!
Meditate on your metaphorical masks while wearing a physical one.
Wear jorts.
Leave that bug in your room alone, dammit. They just need a place to sleep.
Hone your whittling skills.
Do one bad thing.
Intimidate a plant.
Establish yourself in the goose pecking order. Assert human dominance.
Don’t do any silly quests out of a dumb college newspaper.
Re-write a Shakespeare play in the context of the lives of squirrels in the canyon.
Count all the squirrels in the canyon.
Make plant puns at Quest editors.
about the author
Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.