The Quest’s Quest Part IV

Shave your head.

Eat one of the cherry blossoms.

Satisfy three cravings. 

Call your parents.

Lick a battery. 

Admire a tree (sexually).

Draw a bee on your knee. Look at it. It’s the knee’s bee!

Write a sonnet using the words from these quests. 


Put up a poster of something you love.

Write a gooey letter to a representative (you choose what it’s gooey with). 

Disrupt lawns. Reclaim biodiversity! Down with monoculture!

Meditate on your metaphorical masks while wearing a physical one. 

Wear jorts. 

Leave that bug in your room alone, dammit. They just need a place to sleep. 

Hone your whittling skills. 

Do one bad thing.

Intimidate a plant.

Establish yourself in the goose pecking order. Assert human dominance.

Don’t do any silly quests out of a dumb college newspaper.

Re-write a Shakespeare play in the context of the lives of squirrels in the canyon. 

Count all the squirrels in the canyon. 

Make plant puns at Quest editors.

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