Be gay.
Shut the fuck up.
Ask a Quest editor out on a date.
Live for Jazz.
Write a rap with just the words in these quests.
Draw on your wall and then call your parents so they can yell at you like you are five years old again. Ahhh, the nostalgia.
Water a plant.
Take a shot of apple cider vinegar.
Draw the most voluptuous tree on campus.
Frolic.
Fear mold.
Roll a D20 and add your attack bonus. On a 15 and up, you slay the ogre. Otherwise, it eats you.
Scream.
Scram.
Screw.
Get a megaphone and walk around complimenting people on their outfits very loudly and obnoxiously.
Dehydrate – anything – and give it to me. I love dehydrated things.
Don’t do drugs, kids!
Buy a pineapple before they go extinct. Hurry!
Play that instrument that’s collecting dust in your closet.
Make jewelry out of food.
About the Author
Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.
