The Quest’s Quests Part II

Eat a book.

Be mean to a Quest editor.

Make art out of sticks and leaves.

Call yourself a sexy motherfucker in the mirror.

Summon a demon.

Shotgun a Yerba Mate.

Buy a bag of magical legumes.

Discover the true meaning of Justice (δικαιοσύνη) through a medium other than language.

Dig a hole.

Establish a secret society of philosophers that have no reason to be secret.

Count aw youw widdle fingie wingies and toesie woesies.


Get a degree in economics.

Dismantle capitalism.


Bean someone with a bean.

Drink the rest of your water bottle, right now. You won’t.

Kiss a worm.

New vocab, new poem.


Go wash your hands, ya filthy animal.

Give your stressed out friend a back massage, but socially distantly with one of those grabber arm things. 

Name three songs.

About the Author

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Mud is a seasoned Quest writer, an Environmental Studies student in their third year. Mud has kept up a weekly strange entertainment column for over thirty issues and has covered pressing sustainability and land-use stories for the past two years.

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1 year ago

"A Quest Editor Out Philosophers a Worm"

Out things the widdle worm
Filthy bean of philosophers secret
Tweeze and summon a new mate of justice
Back with the rest of youw worms
The motherfucker leaves and the mean one sticks with capitalism
To drink
To be secret for no reason
To kiss