The Signs as Bizarre 2020 Moments

Happy Scorpio Season darlin’ dearests; your time is upon us!

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Wearing cobweb earrings to a COVID test and the test administrator exclaiming, “Ooh, spooky!” as they shove a swab deep into your sinuses.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Missed connections callouts about an RBG tattoo within three days of her death.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Waking up to a lightning storm and thinking, “Aw rats, again?”

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

“Catch-22. The catch is that the world is ending before we’re 22.”

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

Realizing for the sixth time that a scene in a pre-pandemic show or movie looks so wrong because the general public is not socially distanced.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Walking outside and feeling naked, panicking for a moment thinking you forgot pants, and realizing you forgot a mask.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

A care package from your grandma containing handmade masks with love in every stitch and (literally) 11 post-its reminding you to vote.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your frazzled prof positively elated by your use of cowboy emojis in the Zoom chat.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Being asked “Who’s John Kroger?” while someone in the distance launches into Sound of Silence.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)

A wildfire photo essay givin’ you a hankerin’ for flamin’ hot cheetos.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Collective Twitter brainstorm of ways to steal from Commons via app (DO NOT).

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

Being asked if you’re crying again over climate change, personal problems, or how pretty herons are.

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Related Stories


We would love your thoughts, please comment!x
%d bloggers like this: